THREE WAYS TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WHEN LIVING OVERSEAS

1) Be honest with yourself about the hard stuff 

Some people think that the key happiness is to be positive all the time. I can’t stately this strongly enough: this isn’t true! When we do this, the negative stuff just keeps piling up behind the damn of our own denial, and eventually that’s going to burst. Whether that damn bursting looks like shouting at your spouse, getting sick, feeling cynical or giving up on something important, that damn will burst if you don’t let the negative out. So, let’s admit the negative stuff to ourselves. I’ll start. Here are the things I find hard about my life in Cambodia: the noise, the fact that I’ve tried so hard to learn Khmer and feel I’ve not got anywhere, how itchy the mosquito bites are, that my niece won’t remember me when I next go back home, how expensive cheese is. That’s a start. How about you? What’s on your list? Let yourself name it and feel the feelings that go with it. Breaking that damn will allow the negative and positive feelings to flow more freely.  

2) Celebrate the good stuff 

In some ways this is the opposite to the point above but in another way it’s the same. It’s being honest with ourselves about both the good and the bad and not fixating on one and denying the other. A friend of mine once said to try to see Cambodia as the “land of milk and honey”. Now, every week I write a list of things I like that Cambodia has that my home country doesn’t. For me, it includes things like being able to swim outdoors without being too cold, tuk tuks, landlords allowing pets, not getting hey fever and the fact that the international community is full of people like me who don’t have a spouse or kids. Your list might be quite different. What would it include?  

3) Rest and rest well

Whether I check my Bible or my psychology textbook, they both agree that rest is important. We are like a phone and our battery will run out if we don’t charge it. Some things we do use up more battery than they did back home. Navigating different traffic systems, language, ways of doing things and even different weather takes up energy. While I was writing this article there was a power cut which disrupted my day. Even though these things aren’t big traumatic events (and we may experience those too!), each of these little things uses up a part of my mental battery. So our batteries needs charging more often. We need more rest.  

I used to have a bad phone charger that charged my phone super slowly. And I think sometimes, I’ve tried some bad types of rest. Things like scrolling through social media or watching endless Nextflix that did very little to boost my energy levels. But when I go swimming or do something creative, I get a new boost of energy. The best types of rest for you might be different. If you’re not sure what boosts your energy most, rate your mood out of five before and after doing restful activities, and see which ones have lifted your mood the most.

And of course, to make time for rest, you’re going to have to say no to things.  And if everything that takes up your time is important, then the solution is both simple and difficult: you’re going to have to say no to something important.

So, in summary, here’s some practical steps you can take to help your mental health: 

1. Write a list of what’s difficult in Cambodia (or wherever you are) 

2. Write a list of what you love about life in Cambodia that you can’t do back home 

3. Try some different restful activities and rate your mood before and after to see which ones charge your mental battery most 

4. Challenge yourself to say no to at least one thing per week 

Want to find more ways to invest in your mental health while living overseas? A counsellor can help you with that.